Apparently, nothing - at least when I wield a knife and try to listen to my mother talk at the same time.
I didn't really need that fingertip (or the half-pint of blood that was apparently holding it in place). Sadly, my ears were unharmed; so my sanity wasn't spared.
Ah well, my body's weakly response to lacerations at least served as a temporary distraction from Yet Another Cautionary Mark Of the Beast Lecture (heretofore rendered as YACMOBL).
Fortunately, the oozing's stopped enough that I can apply some neosporine to my finger. The smegma I speak of isn't coming from my missing fingertip - a bit of my brain is still dripping out my ears after that 'conversation'.
Tomorrow, though, the cooking recommended, sans extremist rants. These holidays have hope, yet.
Hope everyone's having good fun!